- BY JOHN NIVEN 3:11:2019
John Niven is shocked to find that everyone went about their business as usual on October 31 when we remained in the EU despite the fears raised by hardline Brexiteers.
Like many of you, I had a rough old time on Friday morning.
Having armed myself to the teeth – machete, shotgun, mace – I fought my way to the shops.
Cars were aflame left, right and centre.
Rampaging mobs of Leave voters were in the process of storming the town hall, threatening to hang any Remain council officials from the nearest lampposts.
There was a WHUMFF and an orange fireball reached into the sky as an extremist mob of ERG militia blew up a double-decker bus in the next street.
My eyes streaming from the canisters of tear gas the riot police were pumping into the air, I finally made it to the supermarket where there was, of course, no food.
The shelves were bare, except for the pet supplies aisle, where a group of pensioners were locked in mortal combat with Stanley knives over the last edibles in the place – a few crates of Pedigree Chum.
I tossed a grenade in there and took them all out, threw a few scorched cans of dog food into my backpack and headed home to feed my family, leaping for cover every few yards to avoid the tracer fire from the helicopter gunships that were hovering overhead, blasting away at the rampaging mobs below.
Aside from having to blow away my next-door neighbours when I caught them trying to steal ammunition from the garage, I made it home without incident.
“What a day,” I said, as I staggered in the door.
Except, of course, none of this happened.
We failed to leave the EU by October 31 and, the next morning, everyone got up and went about their business as usual.
The “riots” promised by hardline Brexiteers failed to materialise.
In fact, an awful lot of the stuff these guys promised didn’t materialise.
Source: Daily Post.